7.13.2003
At 17:39 Catherine Thorpe writes:
Final photos from Roadjag 2003: Heartland -- The Return may be found right here.
Over and out.
6.22.2003
At 19:37 Catherine Thorpe writes:
Total trip mileage out and back: 5,712
Hapless Budget rental clerk: "Um, you're going to have to fill out an accident report for that windshield."
Little did he know he would unleash the wrath of a certain sleep-deprived and unbathed gal, still cranky over having spent two hours at the Golden Phoenix blackjack tables *just* to fight back to break-even ... "From the ashes a phoenix is born!" Yeahhhh not really.
(In honor of Miss Thea's departure stayed at Fitzgerald's -- nice room with a view of Virginia St. and the slowest elevators in all of creation. "First floor -- Lucky Lane and certified loose slots!!!")
Robbie fared a little better at craps, but not quite enough to cover a certain fine incurred on a certain stretch of Nebraska freeway -- 99 mph in a 75 zone. Low-slung dark-blue cruiser heading in the opposite direction swings across the grassy median and catches up real quick, pulls up alongside for a once-over before dropping in behind the Rodeo and putting on the flashers.
"It goes without saying that you need to take the speed way down," says the jovial trooper.
And indeed, Ro Bert takes the speed way down ... until he hits the state line.
6.20.2003
At 21:30 Thea Gilien writes:
Two days have already passed since we swooped in from Dixon, Illinois (which I only this minute learned is the "Petunia City". Way to go Dixon!), rammed into (and around and around and around) the O'Hare airport loop to pick up Rob/ro bert/Robbie Thorpe and slid into Chicago.
In brief:
Catherine and Thea end the Heartland Jag by picking-up Rob/ro bert/Robbie and heading to the tony digs of friends Daniel and Tom. A very soothing meal of noodles and hibiscus iced tea and finally some friggin' Diet Coke at Big Bowl and then fidgity giggling in bed before sleep at last. We awoke the next morning for a healthy breakfast (a marked first for a certain pair of gals) and then the Thorpe siblings piled in and headed on out! No circuitious meandering for them - oh no. Thier drive west is as straight a line as they can make it. In ten hours on Thursday 19th, Catherine and Rob had driven from Chicago (CHA!) to west of Lincoln, Nebraska - even while stopping in Prophet's Town - why and where....
Details of that leg of the trip, as well as everything else since Grand Junction, Colorado, to come as soon as the gals can get it together...
In the meantime here are some raw notes and a few links, merely for illustration, shoved through the mojo wire. You can read them and sense perhaps, what was vital and memorable stayed in the collective mind while exploring our vast and majestic American Heartland. Or not. You might want to eat a few Tums before you get started.
Colby, Kansas
The Village Inn - most excellent crepes with cheese sauce biscuits/gravy - hashbrowns of golden delight
cinnamon bunnnn of wonder
Liberal, Kansas
Dorothy's House
Chatted up the Dorothy docent and Learned how to answer certain questions with a "study guide".
Dodge City, Kansas
PANCAKE house good ranch dressing on the salad - but that was about it. Why were so many waitresses missing so many teeth?
Peppercorns a bar - many photos of this evening were deleted to protect...everyone on the planet, really.
Shoot out at high noon at Boothill - think Wyatt Earp and Bat Masterson. Think saloons with those doors you can swagger through like Gary Cooper or Marlene Dietrich
Thea deputized by the local marshall "I am the law now, boys."
Salina, Kansas
Martinellis Little Italy: great service and hangover-friendly pasta
indefferent and sadly overrated "mt. vesuvius" chocolate cake (so sad when one is excited and anticipatory for the entire meal a promised treasure of chocolate flavor sensations - and then tastebuds disappointed - culinarius interruptus?)
Riverfest
"Ohhh, you've never been to riverfest?"
Drive to Kansas City, Missouri - what happened?
Quarterage Hotel - breakfast = excellent
Westport: chocolate cake redeemed!
al fresco cider/camparis and a nighttime amble
Next day:
KC City Market
hot n muggy!
olive oil soap from a middle eastern stall
"we use it everywhere," Catherine was informed.
"??"
"we use it on our hair"
Fucking KC Royals
ueberfucking royals' fans - booing Barry Bonds out of jealousy and fear.
Royals fans are dumb.
beer & brats tasted as good as the Royals sucked
krispy kremes
quality KC bbq
lemon freeze - refreshed the mind but did not freeze the brain - Tangy!
jackknife truck
Walmart columbia MO and a massive cleaning/reorganization of the Isuzu. Diet Coke Machines.
Hannibal, Missouri - one time home of Mark Twain
"Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please."
too late for dinner
walked 15,000 steps up a very steep hill, to a closed light house
great bookstore
Steamboat Cafe - lovely pickled beets and a potato salad that didn't need to be so sweet. It just didn't. Questionable cheese sticks. Diet cola that still wasn't coca...
up the river
Nauvoo
Our religious experience: a blue cheese, baloney, dinner rolls, pastries and peanut butter fudge picnic at a beautiful roadside along the Mississippi.
Burlington, Iowa - searching riverside for tourist info, found only hundreds of pork farmers lining up for a convention/feed like, well, pigs at a trough
Nowheresville, Iowa, mile 2972: 74mph in a 55 zone - uh oh
Omigodomigodomigod
Pella Pella Pella
Catherine: "everything here is suspect"
restaurants that offer no breakfast after 10:00 AM. What th--??
christian radio oozing from places of business and sticking in our ears
sundae/floats were a magnificent dinner -
cookies and their crowns of brite brite frosting soothed the pain, only a bit, of the utter weirdness, the stepford wives feeling of it all... definitely more detail to come on this one...
Pleasantville, not
-for godsake, the sign said "Pleasantville - Trust us!"
ohhhhh, I think not, thank you very much.
a cemetery and a silo
Amana Colonies, Iowa fresh beer and a very good cheese breadstick
"danke shoen!"
endless search for a perfect riverfront fantasy
we bet and lost Iowa City, deciding to continue on in search of the ideal.
Instead:
worlds largest truckstop
and.....
the utterly dreadful, repulsive, ghastly, plain old icky Quad Cities
circling, looping, ever circling - where is that goddamned twinkly light avenue along the charming river???!!!?
where are the cafes? the little bars where two gals can go in and order a drink and simply enjoy a drink? the fricking gazebo with a jazz combo and the deliriously good vibes? where?
all we wanted was to be there in the morning for the John Deere Pavillion
Dixon, Illinois
Ronald Reagan Best Western?
a Best Western Hotel with a President's Suite? - Well patriot, if you are in the boyhood home town of RR, you betcha!
Grand Detour, Illinois
John Deere Historical site - a trip highlight! a real blacksmith!
Oregon, Illinois,
the last BreakfastJag and then a wrestling match in the parking lot between Catherine and a tricky bottle of Maalox. The winner = maalox, despite the clever use of several tools from the Swiss Army Knife. Instead: more Tums and shallow breathing. Little sips of water and no hysterical laughing. That would be bad.
On the way to the airport
lost in Rockport, Illinois
At O'Hare - Enter Robbie, who immediately asks for a snack. He's in the groove!
Big City Chicago - CHA!!
Host Daniel calls Thea's Mother and moves to bedroom to speak privately -
what about? why? what? why?
Ouf! There is more. But certain people are in a little shock and certain other people are still on the road, heading home, way out there in the Colorado Rockies, thinking they are perfectly fine.
We will need to rest, to decompress, to re-edit any incriminating photographs.... and to consult our attorneys before we continue here.
Thea leaves for Ireland on June 24 and those adventures can be followed here.
JagQuotes
C: let's not go *there*, indicating a scary/creepy/contagious hotel/restaurant/bar/historical marker
T: done!
"well......here we are"
- said while driving down an empty stretch of highway/entering Bilesville/seated at a dubious diner
Vegas related - inexplicible
"hold on!" mr. texas tea
"diamohhhnds" el diablo
the huge list of all the places we chose not to visit/eat in/stay at
6.14.2003
At 08:44 Thea Gilien writes:
Many new photos are online!
Wednesday June 12
Why does it take so long to leave Las Vegas? Why couldn't we just turn off that AM episode of Law &
Order, pack up and git?
Finding the car in the labyrinths of the IP parking garage included Thea leaving Catherine on level three ("okay bye! good luck!") and trekking off to level four and playing "marco polo" with mobile phones. Thankfully, check-out was a breeze, but meandering through downtown to find I-15 and a gas station seemed to take a lot out of us.
Finally, finally on the road and searching for a big store to take care of a large shopping list:
Clipboard
Cotton socks (6-pack)
Toothbrush
Extra deep conditioning hair repair
Water
Reading materials
Not on the list but found to be neccessary:
Cookies with bright green frosting
And that took a long time. And while searching out the perfect roadside diner is, in a way, what it is all about, it too was taking a long time. And we had crossed into the Mountain time zone. Where were we? What time was it? And so to Denny's and a reliable menu. Something soothing in that. Collected and rehydrated, we headed on towards Grand Junction, CO. Beautiful scenery marred by a very bad book we could not stop reading.
Thursday, June 13
The plan: Depart Grand Junction early, arrive in The Heartland by sundown. But fate intervened!
- A tanker truck overturned on I-70 and closed it for nine friggin hours
- A cattle drive (with cowboys!) across the highway we took as a detour was fun to watch ... for the first 15 minutes
- The Toyota Corolla in front of us was a scairdy cat when we came to the unpaved portion of the highway
- The road paralleling the freeway after Silt was clearly an access road, only it wasn't
Stopped at Rosie's in Cameo for a little brunch before detouring around the crash ... along with every other stranded motorist west of the Rockies. "How you doin'?" asked the waitress.
"How you doin'?" says Thea.
"I tell you what -- I'm gettin' too old fer this."
Yup. Good grilled cheeses, decent fries, "truckers lounge" and telephones by each table.
Hit the Rockies at 4ish and promptly got elevation sickness: nosebleeds, headaches, slurred speech. "One of the symptoms to watch out for is the person who's affected thinks everything's fine." Hail and lots of swerving trucks at the 10,000-foot summit.
Tried to spot the buffalo at Genessee Park above Denver before swooping on down, through the city and into The Heartland! The wrath of God pursued us across the prairie -- vicious thunder and lightning, sleet, hailstones, and a honking trucker. Was he warning us about a cop up ahead? Apparently not.
Rolled into majestic Colby, Kansas, at 11 p.m. The Welk-Um Inn receptionist told us the diner was closed -- but she was lyin'. Grappling with SBC Yahoo! in a vain attempt to get an Internet connection: "I'm not seeing any local numbers for your area, mmmkay? How close are you to Wichita?"
6.12.2003
At 09:24 Thea Gilien writes:
Tuesday 6/10 -Las Vegas, NV
Catherine makes a few calls to the office and after finishing her bidness opens the doors to the terrace overlooking the Shangri-la pool "I should conduct business here all the time!"
Down to the casino for some Quartermania Slots to
whet our appetites for the fabulous "Imperial Champagne Brunch Buffet" (and that's available every day - not just Sundays, people!). Apparently, we chanced upon the casino's most eager, most wanton machines , for they indeed had the "loosest slots"! And lo! in a matter minutes, we were up $210! So with the haughty airs of ladies of wealth and standing befitting an Imperial Palace, we glided up the escalator to our awaiting buffet.
We were very pleased. No heads would roll this day. Excellent salad bar, where the iceberg lettuce was truly icy.
Beautiful mini-doughnuts and fresh melon. We do not think we shall find again on this trip champagne that pours forth from a spigot. Oh, it was frightening, throat burning "champagne", in the flat bowl goblets no less (these California wine-country gals have decreed that "not right"), but the concept, that is brilliant.
And down to the floor again for some Roulette and a little blackjack WWED? What Would Ed Do? We would ask ourselves. Ed Matovcik was our tutor in the ways of 21 - we adhere, to this day, strictly to his teachings. Unfortunately, this day Lady Luck showed us no favors -- let's just say we have done better. ... And so on to Caesars for a little roaming around (ha!) and a refreshing dessert. The Forum Shops boggle the mind. We were boggled. We wanted to go home to the comforts of our slightly worn ("not the newest property on the Strip", someone commented later in the evening, upon hearing where we had chosen to stay), wholly comfortable Imperial Palace.
We returned to our room, therefore to loll on our beds watching strangely addictive back-to-back episodes of "Law & Order." We tore ourselves away round about 7 to drive to the outskirts of town for our dinner date with Elena, a former coworker of Catherine's, and her family. A spacious home, ceiling fans humming overhead, dogs panting and nosing . ("Oh, I like dogs -- I just don't like them sniffin' around.")
All portents were favorable for a perfectly harmless evening. But then life began to imitate art in a most disconcerting way ... was it real, or was it a certain show in syndication on TNT?
[Interior -- night -- a dining table with supper plates ready to be cleared. The table is in a large open-plan home, with kitchen, dining area and living room grouped together under a high ceiling. ELENA, KAREN, WILLIAM, THEA, CATHERINE and DAWN are chatting. CATHERINE looks at her watch.]
WILLIAM: Let me get this straight -- you're on vacation and you're looking at your watch??
CT: Well yes, actually, we've got tickets to a show at 10:30.
ALL: Really? Which one?!
CT: Mystère!
ALL: Oooh! Great! [ad libbing excitement]
TG: Yes, I happened to see Dralion in San Francisco -- I must confess what when my cousin got us tickets I was a little skeptical -- I don't like circuses --
ELENA: Oh, but it's not like that --
TG: Yes -- I was amazed and impressed! I loved the way they played off the audience and there was a thread -- a plot ---
[LONG SHOT from between CT and TG of TOM, who's lying on the couch in post-supper relaxation in the nearby living area. He suddenly begins to resemble SAM WATERSON.}
TOM: But isn't Mystère dark tonight?
CT: ??
TG: ??
TOM: We walked right by it, and it said it was dark until the 12th.
CT: No, I thought --
TG: Well, did we -- ?
ELENA: That's right, there was a sign.
DAWN (concerned): Did you have tickets?
CT: We made reservations online --
TG: Yeah, what did I --?
WILLIAM: Why don't you call and see if it's dark tonight?
[DAWN hands CT a cordless phone, a high-tech model. She has already dialed the number, knowing it from her years of experience helping open major hotel/casino properties -- Bellagio, Mirage ... .]
CT (talking with Treasure Island ticket personnel): Hello, yes, I was under the impression that I had tickets to Mystère for tonight, but now I'm being told it's dark, is that right? ... Ah, I see ... No ... No, I don't have a reservation number on me, I'll have to go find it ... No ... I'll call you back. [Hangs up phone.] Well ... it must be some other show -- I --
TG: I obviously didn't know what I was doing, there was an online reservation service --
TOM: Maybe it's O, not Mystère -- or there's the new one, Zumanity?
WILLIAM: That isn't open yet.
TG: Yeah, maybe it's O.
TOM: If it is you're lucky -- those tickets are hard to come by.
WILLIAM: Yeah, really expensive.
TG: Wow, that'd be great if that's the case --
DAWN: Do you want to call Bellagio and see if they've got your reservation? [She moves toward the phone.]
CT: No!!! No -- I -- we should just scrabble around in the car and look for the paper --
TG: Yeah, we should look it up --
CT: We'll look for it later.
TG: Yeah, we don't want to rush away from your table -- we can sit and visit for a while, it's early yet.
At the end of the evening, Catherine is in the passenger seat, "scrabbling" in the satchel for the "show reservation", as Thea guns the engine and the Rodeo swerves out of the cul de sac. Good times!!!
Aladdin, Paris, Venetian, where we enjoyed $9 cocktails at the ueber-trendy V Bar -- then back to the humble comfort of the Imperial Palace. Our salacious slots have gotten cold feet, inexplicably the bucket of quarters is empty, our hands are begrimed and the evening's trials have left us utterly fatigued ... and so to bed.
6.10.2003
At 17:37 Thea Gilien writes:
Roadjag Heartland Photo Album can be viewed here.
Check often for updates! There is no charge for this service...yet.
At 10:34 Thea Gilien writes:
The beauty of this trip is that everything is "on the way"
10:11
Things Catherine forgot:
* Forgot to pay husband for wine
* Forgot Oklahoma Broadway cast CD
(what else are we going to belt out as we float o'er the prairie - hellllo?)
* Forgot beanbag lapboard
* Forgot "The Bad Girl's Phone Directory"
11:20
Predictions of total milege for this jag
CMT: 4437 miles
TG : 5100 miles
T: Any other predictions you'd like to make?
C: I'd like to say that we are not going to have any (automotive) collisions or breakdowns.
T: So it's going to be good?
C: Yeah.
12:04 PM
Act of God
Rock impacts and cracks windshield
1:30 PM
Reno - Sundowner Hotel and Casino for a quick cruise along the salad bar. The atmosphere of this ghost was a real sun-downer. Sad patrons and sombulant staff. We had all, apparently, partaken of a vicodan cocktail and were all moving under a thick, viscous water. It was too much and suddenly - there was our first non-automotive breakdown. Speedy exit stage left and back on the road - I-80 to the deserted desert of I-95. Sand mesas and more than enough stoppages for road construction "expect delays up to 30 minutes".
And we drove and drove, through Fernley, through Hawthorne, through Tonopah, Mina, and Goldfield (where there was another closed and decaying hotel we want to buy and to restore to our former glory. Make it a sister to the Carson City Lucky Spur. We saw a few brothels out there on I-95. They were all large mobile homes, or the prefab houses - two halves surrounded by a deck. The Cottontail Ranch, offered free parking for truckers.
Our entrance into Las Vegas was perfect, really. Behind us, the sun had set and the sky was orange into dark blue and in front of us, the sky was, you know, glowing with that unearthly light. We were tired, a little loopy and were concerned that check-in and the fabulous Imperial Palace might be...somewhat problematic. We managed. And finally arrived at the room. High on the 17th floor, we have a fabulous view of the Shangri-la pool several floors down below and of the fabulous Flamingo Hotel and it's own fabulous pool across the way.
Refreshing showers and a little veg time before going down to the Tea House Coffee Shop. It was all so right! for a dinner salad and steak fries "not mealy" (Catherine) and an excellent Cobb salad (Thea) that was still cold 45 minutes later, two glasses of ice water and diet pepsi per gal - it is the desert after all. We slithered down to the Mai Tai lounge for a night cap - large, potently refreshing gin and tonics. And so to bed.
6.9.2003
At 07:26 Thea Gilien writes:
Packed: check. Rental car: check. House obsessively cleaned 47 times: check.
Picking up Catherine in the Isuzu Roddy-O and then, yes, jagging to my mother's
for breakfast and a care package and then heading out to Las Vegas... by way of Reno. It makes perfect sense somewhere. Nevada Interstate 95 all the way, baby.
|
|
Want more?
Read the Heartland 2003(TM) archives
"Itinerary"
Ha ha ha -- riiiiiiight
June 9-10 at the fabulous Imperial Palace Hotel/Casino, Las Vegas
Note: Itinerary after this point subject to change when we win ... $4 MILLION!
June 11 at the Best Western Horizon in Grand Junction
Rationale: We must schedule to leave Vegas or we won't.
June 12-18 in the Heartland
June 18: Chicago! Cha!!!
Coolio
Here are some related sites:
Avoiding speed traps
Virtual roadtrips
Roadfood
The fun begins at the exit ramp
U.S. Highways
More of our favorite links
|
